Came across this stock image today. I can’t help but think it looks like David Duchovny, Jennifer Aniston, and Dexter (Michael C Hall) all work in the same office.
Two weeks ago I went to As You Wish Pottery and painted a coffee mug. It was the first time I painted anything remotely artistic since maybe high school. I have to say, I am immensely proud of the end result.
My masterpiece was inspired by my favorite photo of my cat, who passed away early this year. She loved to spend time out in the back yard, under the tree, and make squeaky chatter noises at the birds.
Check out the photos below. How can that mug not put a smile on your face?
This past weekend, I went to San Diego to visit my sister. It also just happened to be the 36th anniversary of my journey from the womb to um… about a foot outside the womb. To celebrate that momentous occasion, my sister treated me to a day at Sea World.
We did everything Sea World had to offer except for the rides (I get sick.) We saw the dolphin show, the otters and sea lions, the Sesame Street 4D movie (a 3D movie where they spray you with water), the sharks, the piranhas, and a slew of other fascinating sea creatures. Of course we also saw Shamu; or as we like to call him, “Shmoo”. In fact, we enjoyed the first show so much, we stayed for the evening show as well. All in all, we spent 10 hours at Sea World and returned home with monster sunburns. Well worth it!
Baby Making Department:
In other news, my best friend and his wife just had a baby! Out of respect for their privacy, I won’t post any images or use any names. Let’s just say he’s small, and cute, and undoubtedly human. Sorry, aliens… not this time!!!
Just when I started to think I was insignificant, I go away for a few days, and everyone wants to know what happened to me.
No need to worry. I’m alive and well. In fact, I went to Rocky Point on Thursday and got back late in the afternoon yesterday.
What started out as a long anticipated getaway filled with fun and relaxation turned out to be an aggravating series of inconveniences and drama between friends. Here’s the short version:
This year’s Mexico group consisted of about 40 people. We rented 6 condos on the beach overlooking the ocean. My condo had 6 people in it: me, Rory, Mike, Bracken, Andy, and Andy’s wife (I forgot her name). Out of all the condos, ours ends up being the one that had a horrendous sewage problem. The entire place smelled like human feces. It was so bad, the very first night, Andy and his wife made the decision to go home first thing in the morning.
My friend Larry, and the rest of the gang convinced them to stay, and Andy agreed to try to stick it out. When morning came, however, Andy had a change of heart and decided to leave anyway. In order to get his portion of the deposit back, Andy checked all of us out of the condo without discussing it with the rest of the group; leaving me, Rory, Bracken, and Mike stranded with no place to stay.
Between the 4 of us, we didn’t have enough money to get another condo, so Larry offered to let us stay in his. I felt a bit uncomfortable because there were already 3 married couples and two children staying there. Larry’s wife, however, got pissed off because Larry didn’t clear it with her before he made the offer. She wanted us to pay an equal portion of the condo fee, but I would have rather gone home than pay to sleep on a couch and use my pajama bottoms as a towel.
That night, the air conditioning went out on the first floor, and guess who was the only person sleeping on the first floor? You got it! So I slept in a disgusting puddle of sweat and couch juice, and ended up breaking out in giant zits all over my back and scalp. For the rest of the trip, the AC stayed broken, and the weather was so hot and humid, I went through 4 shirts in one night.
Other Mexico highlights:
One entire condo of people from our group got arrested (for what I still don’t know) and they ended up fleeing the country.
Bracken mixed up a batch of his self-titled “Brack Attack” alcoholic beverage, and poisoned his liver with multiple doses, transforming him into a fountain of shrimp flavored vomit (see images below). In between heaves, he begged us all not to let him die, and proclaimed his love for his wife and daughter, and of course, Carlita the Mexican stripper he met that night.
Beach Boy and the Shrimp Shack Shooters strapped on the guitar, keyboard, harmonica, bongos, and maracas, and really put on a great show Saturday night. By far, the best part of the weekend.
Justin Lavender added another notch to his bedpost, managing to close the deal in less than two minutes. A new land speed record.
Somehow, Hooks was able to avoid any near death experiences this time. However, for the second year in a row, he broke a chair and fell on his ass. Oh, and he lost focus while pissing and peed all over his robe. Who the F wears a robe anyway???
I guess that’s it. I think I’m ready for a vacation now.
Click on the thumbnails below to see photos of the trip.
WARNING!!! Photo 150 is of human poo (not mine).