Fare Thee Well, Antonio
So I put on about 5lbs while I was in California, but what do you expect when the boss is footing the bill at 5 star restaurants every night? The food was so good, I think it actually gave me a boner! Luckily our last meal there was at IHOP, so I didn’t have to worry about passing through security with an erection.
Before I left for California, I called my gym and complained about my personal trainer guy, Antonio. Aside from being completely incompetent, he almost killed me the last time I worked out with him. He decided to strike up a conversation with some dude at precisely the exact moment when I couldn’t hold onto the weight anymore. My arms gave out and the bar came crashing down on my chest. That felt pretty good 
. Then, a few moments later, he spaced out while I was doing cable crossovers, and the cable recoiled backwards and almost ripped my shoulder out of its socket.
Well, I got a call yesterday from the gym and apparently, they fired Antonio. They said it wasn’t my fault, but I’m not buying it. Now I’m all scared that Antonio may be pissed off and come after me. If I go missing anytime soon, look for a black dude named Antonio. There can’t be too many of them. 
So now I have a new trainer, and even though he looks like he’s 13 years old, he seems ok. A bit chatty, though. They also credited me for the sessions I had with Antonio. Score one for me! Yay! But they tricked me into buying multi-vitamins and supplements. Boo! But I gave them the finger while I was paying. Boo again… they took my money.
