May They Rest in the Offseason
Please bow your heads.
Brothers and sisters, let us pray. Dear Lord, please forgive the New York Yankees who, yet again, failed to show up for the post season. Let your glorious light shine down upon them to reveal the error of their ways, and may they receive your grace and guidance so they may come back next season stronger than ever. Please look after Bernie Williams as he begins his journey into retirement and, if your divine holiness deems us worthy of your consideration, please let Bubba Crosby be traded to Kansas City. Amen.
And that reminds me, since the Yankee’s season is over, I’ll let you know the “mystery” song I posted for the Name That Tune game is the New York Yankee Theme Song, “Here Come the Yankees” composed by Bob Bundin and Lou Stallman in 1967.
Like the Yankees, the baseball season is over for me as well, as I will not watch another baseball game until next Spring. The World Series without the Yankees is like a sandwich without the tangy zip of Miracle Whip. Soooooo, it’s on to my next sporting passion: Arizona State University Women’s Basketball!!!
Please control your groans and gasps of disbelief, and save your played out commentary about the validity of women’s sports, because I’ve heard it all before. The women play just as hard as the men, and often with more heart. I love the game, and I will continue to support it even if I am the only non-lesbian paying money to watch it. As a matter of fact, I have two season tickets in row number one behind the scorer’s table at half court.
The only problem is I usually have no one to go with. If any of you can pass my 47 point interview process, show a genuine interest in the game, have never cut off a man’s penis and flung it out a car window, don’t expect me to put out, and can tolerate my company for a few hours, feel free to let me know. Maybe one of you can join me court-side.
Go Devils!
