Welcome to Subway!
Although I was prepared for the shouted greeting, it still startled me nonetheless. I normally walk with my head down, so I almost broke my neck as I snapped to attention and looked around to see who just welcomed me to Subway. It was a man’s voice, but there was only one woman behind the counter.
Behind me another customer walked through the door. The alarm beeped that notifies the employees that someone has entered the store, and from the back, out bellowed another “WELCOME TO SUBWAY!!!”
I got a chance to see what I probably looked like a few seconds earlier as the person behind me perked up, looked around like God just spoke to him and responded politely, “Thank you?”
I’m noticing that this relatively new corporate mandated greeting is being adopted by more and more places, and frankly, I don’t get it. I’m sure it all started with some customer service brain storming session. “Everyone gets greeted! No exceptions! They hire retards to do it at WalMart, and look how well they’re doing. So we should do it too!” In fact I’m almost certain that’s how it all went down, because I saw it happen when I used to sell cars.
One of the managers had dinner at TGI Fridays for his birthday and he thought because the wait staff sang Happy Birthday to him, that we should sing to the customers when they buy a car. So, after the first sale that day, he called us all into the showroom to gather around the customer and we sang, “We sold you a car! We sold you a car! You’re gonna go far! You’re gonna go far! We sold you a c…” And before we could get out the word “car”, the customer was in his car. He drove away and never came back.
Look… when people come up with ideas like greeting every customer, I’m sure it’s not intended to be shouted out at inappropriate levels by some unknown voice scaring the crap out of 90% of the people who walk through the door. The fact of the matter is people just don’t give a shit. I know I’m right because, as an experiment, sometimes I’ll walk in and shout hello first! They never say hello back! In fact, they look at me with disgust because they hate that they have to yell “Welcome to Subway!!!” By the way… the mystery man who shouted “Welcome to Subway!!!” never came out from the back.
Why wouldn’t they just hire friendly people if they want their employees to act friendly?
They do that at Quiktrip gas stations too. Everyone who walks through the door get’s a loud “hello” from someone at the counter. If they’re busy, you still get greeted but it’s more of a ‘lo than a hello. Always cracks me up.
I KNOW! I work right next door to one. They call you “Buddy” or “Bud” there, they don’t smile when they say hello, and they never say hello back if you say it first. Honestly, what’s the point?
Thanks again for your continued readership, Buddy!