Tomorrow is the final day of my No Hat 30 Day Challenge. I would love to say that I achieved some sense of freedom that had been previously shielded by my hat. Unfortunately, that is far from the case. After 29 days without my brimmed yarmulke, I’m ready to glue it back on permanently. I just didn’t feel like myself the entire time. I guess the only positive thing I can take away from the experience is just the satisfaction of following through on a commitment.

For my next 30 day challenge, I will be meditating for 10 minutes every day. Why? I don’t know. I guess I’m just curious what 10 minutes of mind clearing can do for a person. I don’t intend to explore the spiritual aspect of meditation, but if I happen to be transported to another level of consciousness, I will let you know.

Ooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

By the way… day 31… RIDICULOUS!

Anyway, my courageous act of selfless restraint seems to have inspired my co-workers to take on their own 30 day challenges. Each person chose one specific thing to do (or not to do) over the course of the next 30 days that would, in some way, have a positive impact on their lives. I am going to participate as well, but this time I’m choosing to do something a bit less… um… personal.

For the next 30 days, I will not wear a baseball cap. Ever since I was given control of what I could wear on my head, I have worn a hat. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I have a hat on my head. Some nights I even wear it to bed. In fact, I don’t think I’ve even had a job where I couldn’t wear a hat.

Although I’m not bald. my hat is definitely an accessory, without which, I’d feel naked. I’d like to think that going hatless for 30 days will not only prove to myself that I am not a slave to my hat, but also, I hope that it allows people to see a more genuine side of me.

I’m not going to bore you with daily updates of what it’s like to not wear a hat. I wouldn’t even read my own blog if I did that. I will, however, fill you in 30 days from now. Wish me luck!

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, here are my co-workers’ 30 day challenges (using initials to protect their privacy):

A – Post a blog at least 3 times per week.
R – Do some form of exercise for at least 5 minutes per day.
K – Do not wear pants to work. Only dresses and skirts.
D – No ponytail at work.

My masterpiece was inspired by my favorite photo of my cat, who passed away early this year. She loved to spend time out in the back yard, under the tree, and make squeaky chatter noises at the birds.

Check out the photos below. How can that mug not put a smile on your face?

View at Picasa 26-Aug-2010 23:02, Panasonic DMC-FZ7, 3.2, 12.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 26-Aug-2010 23:03, Panasonic DMC-FZ7, 3.2, 12.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 26-Aug-2010 23:03, Panasonic DMC-FZ7, 3.2, 12.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 26-Aug-2010 23:04, Panasonic DMC-FZ7, 3.2, 12.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa 26-Aug-2010 23:05, Panasonic DMC-FZ7, 3.2, 12.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 100

After a brief investigation, I discovered that the culprit was none other than the “Subscribe to Comments” plug-in, in the library, with a candlestick. You’re off the hook this time, Colonel Mustard, but I still have my eye on you!

Anyways, because comment bots were checking on the “Subscribe to Comments” checkbox, the plug-in was sending out hundreds of opt-in verification emails.

I have since added an invisible captcha feature to the site, but there’s no way for me to test to see if it’s working without risking having my account suspended. So, I uninstalled the Subscribe to Comments plug-in for now, and will revisit the issue again in the future if I ever get more readers other than Kevin Spencer and my family.

UPDATE: The invisible captcha plug-in caused war to break out in the Middle East, so I had to uninstall it. To verify you are flesh and blood and not an agent of the system, you must now solve a simple math problem before submitting comments. Sorry about the additional step, but if we allow spammers free reign, it will cause homosexuality to spread to our children and defile the sanctity of marriage. Shout out to Jesus Chrysler and Ala-Penut Butter Sandwiches.

UPDATE #2: Math plug-in prevented me from replying to comments, so I am now reopening my blog to comment spam. Weeeeeeeee!!!

The set-up: I was having issues with roaches in my apartment. Three times, I requested to have my apartment bombed, and three times, they did not bomb.

Me: John, they didn’t bomb again. You assured me they would bomb, and they didn’t bomb.

John: They didn’t do it? Lemme look here… where is that book? Hmmmm… no, they did it. It says right here, they inspected and sprayed.

Me: Look, John, stop right there. You and I know that “inspect and spray” is not the same thing as bombing. I asked for the bomb, you wrote down bomb, and you posted a notice on my door that said bomb. Please don’t try to pretend that they bombed, when you know they didn’t bomb. Just own up to it, say you dropped the ball, and fix the problem.

John: Well I wasn’t here yesterday.

Me: I know you weren’t here. And I don’t expect you to miss your day off, but it’s not unreasonable to expect you to delegate the task to someone else. Especially when you told me you would personally make sure it got done after the first two times they didn’t do it.

John: I think you need to talk to Jason, the Property Manager.

Me: Why do i need to do that?

John: Because I’ve done everything I could do on my end.

Me: John, you just told me you weren’t here yesterday, so how did you do everything on your end?

John: Well I think you should talk to Jason. You would have more chance of getting what you want.

Me: But I just told you what I want. I want them to bomb. What would prevent you from conveying my request to Jason?

John: I don’t understand the problem. You live right next to the office, what’s the big deal? Just come in and talk to Jason.

Me: Well, John, you WORK in the office with Jason. So technically, if proximity is the issue, then you’re closer. In fact, you LIVE above the office, so again, YOU’RE closer. What is so difficult about telling Jason, that I want to have my apartment bombed?

John: Look, Eric, Jason is a nice guy. Just come in here tomorrow, and tell him that you asked to have your apartment bombed three times and…

Me: I KNOW WHAT I WOULD SAY TO JASON BECAUSE I’M SAYING IT TO YOU!!!! AND OBVIOUSLY MY METHOD OF COMMUNICATING DOESN’T WORK BECAUSE I CAN’T GET ANYONE TO LISTEN TO ME!!! SO WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL JASON I WANT MY APARTMENT BOMBED?!?!

John: I think the problem is the exterminator didn’t notice sufficient enough activity to bomb. It says in his notes that he only noticed a few dead roaches.

Me: They were dead BECAUSE I KILLED THEM!!! The were “ACTIVE” immediately before I did that!!! And why must I have to live like a slob with food, filth, and roaches everywhere in order to get my apartment bombed? Please tell me!!! Why can’t I just get my apartment bombed?!?!

John: I think you should talk to Jason about that.

I don’t know if anyone noticed, but my website was down for 2 days because my domain expired. The domain that was supposed to have free registration for the duration of my hosting plan. I won’t bother you all with the details about hosting, DNS, registrar transfers, and all that technical stuff. I will say that I am extremely well versed in this area so, to anyone who would assume that I was somehow confused by the process, you can stop sympathizing with the hosting company. No, really… stop it! It was entirely their fault.

Dear Google,

Next time you crawl my site, please index the following keyword phrase:

JustHost.com is the worst hosting company ever!

Love,
Eric

I wasn’t going to mention any names, but what would be the point of complaining unless it can somehow prevent someone from making the same poor choice that I did?

I took that job, and a year later, I’m still working for that same company. From what I understand, and what I see on the job boards, not much has changed in the job market. Without my degree, and without a viable opportunity to go back to school, I feel like I’m stuck even though I’m at a point in my life when I’m ready to start acting like a grown up. There’s more to this whole stuck part, but I’ll save that for another depressing post. Just trust me when I say I’m stuck.

Anyway, I stopped into Circle K today after work to pick up a snack. While I was waiting in line, a brand new $40k SUV with custom chrome rims pulls up in front of the store. A young man gets out of the driver side wearing a white on white flat brimmed Yankees cap spun to the side, a white tank top, and jeans pulled down below his boxer shorts. He’s on a call on his cell phone as he walks into the store and this is what I hear:

Yeah, dog… I been had my orientation already… word… yeah I’m just waitin’ on my fuckin’, uh fuckin’ ummmm national security clearance badge n’ shit… Yeah, dog, I was scurred (scared) bout dat shit too cuz my credit is fucked up and dey look at dat shit… Yeah they check yo record too, dog… Nah, I ain’t got no felonies, dog… Nah, man I wasn’t convicted fo dat shit, and they lowered the charge on dat other shit, so I’m cool, yo. Yeah, so once I get my clearance badge, I’ll be workin’ at The Honeywells n’ shit.”

Now I have no idea what position this young man landed with “The Honeywells,” but I do know that while I was unemployed, I applied to Honeywell as an office administrator, and they didn’t even respond to my resume. I also applied to the Scottsdale Police Department as a dispatcher and could not get through their security clearance because of credit issues from 14 years ago. I guess national security clearance isn’t that strict.

Best of luck to you, young man, in your new career.

FML

To supplement the loss of revenue, I will be launching HahahaComedy Plus™ in the Fall of 2010. This premium version of HahahaComedy will offer readers:

• Unlimited page views
• Vertical and horizontal scrolling
• The ability to copy and paste text and images
• 24hr response to all blog comments
• VIP access to my Amazon Wish List
• A FREE copy of my poorly selling e-book: “Top Ten Secrets to Being Mediocre”

The introductory price for HHHC+ membership will be $10 per month. The first 1,000 or more readers to sign up will get the non-exclusive opportunity to meet me in person and buy me lunch. No kissing on the mouth.