Ha ha ha! Comedy Eric Schneider, Comedian

Just when I started to think I was insignificant, I go away for a few days, and everyone wants to know what happened to me.

No need to worry. I’m alive and well. In fact, I went to Rocky Point on Thursday and got back late in the afternoon yesterday.

What started out as a long anticipated getaway filled with fun and relaxation turned out to be an aggravating series of inconveniences and drama between friends. Here’s the short version:

This year’s Mexico group consisted of about 40 people.  We rented 6 condos on the beach overlooking the ocean. My condo had 6 people in it: me, Rory, Mike, Bracken, Andy, and Andy’s wife (I forgot her name). Out of all the condos, ours ends up being the one that had a horrendous sewage problem.  The entire place smelled like human feces. It was so bad, the very first night, Andy and his wife made the decision to go home first thing in the morning.

My friend Larry, and the rest of the gang convinced them to stay, and Andy agreed to try to stick it out. When morning came, however, Andy had a change of heart and decided to leave anyway.  In order to get his portion of the deposit back, Andy checked all of us out of the condo without discussing it with the rest of the group; leaving me, Rory, Bracken, and Mike stranded with no place to stay.

Between the 4 of us, we didn’t have enough money to get another condo, so Larry offered to let us stay in his. I felt a bit uncomfortable because there were already 3 married couples and two children staying there.  Larry’s wife, however, got pissed off because Larry didn’t clear it with her before he made the offer.  She wanted us to pay an equal portion of the condo fee, but I would have rather gone home than pay to sleep on a couch and use my pajama bottoms as a towel.

That night, the air conditioning went out on the first floor, and guess who was the only person sleeping on the first floor? You got it!  So I slept in a disgusting puddle of sweat and couch juice, and ended up breaking out in giant zits all over my back and scalp. For the rest of the trip, the AC stayed broken, and the weather was so hot and humid, I went through 4 shirts in one night.

Other Mexico highlights:

One entire condo of people from our group got arrested (for what I still don’t know) and they ended up fleeing the country.

Bracken mixed up a batch of his self-titled “Brack Attack” alcoholic beverage, and poisoned his liver with multiple doses, transforming him into a fountain of shrimp flavored vomit (see images below). In between heaves, he begged us all not to let him die, and proclaimed his love for his wife and daughter, and of course, Carlita the Mexican stripper he met that night.

Beach Boy and the Shrimp Shack Shooters strapped on the guitar, keyboard, harmonica, bongos, and maracas, and really put on a great show Saturday night. By far, the best part of the weekend.

Justin Lavender added another notch to his bedpost, managing to close the deal in less than two minutes. A new land speed record.

Somehow, Hooks was able to avoid any near death experiences this time. However, for the second year in a row, he broke a chair and fell on his ass. Oh, and he lost focus while pissing and peed all over his robe. Who the F wears a robe anyway???

I guess that’s it. I think I’m ready for a vacation now.

Click on the thumbnails below to see photos of the trip.
WARNING!!! Photo 150 is of human poo (not mine).

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View at Picasa I come in paz.29-Sep-2005 13:32, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks don't take no mess.29-Sep-2005 13:41, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hey... she didn't pay for that water!29-Sep-2005 13:42, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Auditioning for a UNICEF commercial.29-Sep-2005 13:43, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Hey... that looks familiar!29-Sep-2005 13:46, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Would you guys set a date already!29-Sep-2005 13:46, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I'll add this to my Mrs. Johnson collection.29-Sep-2005 14:08, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hi Marcy!29-Sep-2005 14:08, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Note to self. Max hates the camera.29-Sep-2005 14:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Does it get any better?29-Sep-2005 14:09, SONY DSC-P200, 7.1, 13.7mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Brian drinking the Devil's nectar.29-Sep-2005 15:07, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Smiling at the Sun Set Cantina.29-Sep-2005 15:59, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Scenery.29-Sep-2005 18:20, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I love this picture.29-Sep-2005 18:20, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Blurry Max.29-Sep-2005 18:21, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Clear Max.29-Sep-2005 18:21, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Why is everyone laughing at me?29-Sep-2005 18:22, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Nice cock!29-Sep-2005 18:33, SONY DSC-P200, 3.5, 13.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa Presenting the comedy stylings of The Crazy Guy at the Pool:29-Sep-2005 18:45, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Why did the siamese twins go to England?29-Sep-2005 18:45, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa The other one wanted to learn to drive!29-Sep-2005 18:45, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Thank you very much! You're a great crowd.29-Sep-2005 18:46, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Lorry looking buff thanks to the light bending properties of water.29-Sep-2005 18:54, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Larry being bouyant.29-Sep-2005 18:54, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Hey... is that Poseidon?29-Sep-2005 18:55, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I don't know her well enough to make comments.29-Sep-2005 18:55, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Whatever happens in Mexico... ends up on the website.29-Sep-2005 19:07, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa How can one black man scare a whole city of people living in poverty?29-Sep-2005 19:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa The only ones taking advantage of the dance time.29-Sep-2005 19:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa ?Can you believe these colors??29-Sep-2005 19:58, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Andy is in the back contemplating his escape.29-Sep-2005 19:59, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The most pathetic dog ever.29-Sep-2005 19:59, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Doing the running boy.29-Sep-2005 20:02, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Is it really safe to jump from here?29-Sep-2005 20:02, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Holy crap!29-Sep-2005 20:02, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Mrs. Johnson and her quesadilla.29-Sep-2005 20:04, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Lincoln still dancing.29-Sep-2005 20:05, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Max doing the Carlton.29-Sep-2005 20:06, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Um... Lincoln again.29-Sep-2005 20:06, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa Pop and lock baby!29-Sep-2005 20:10, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100

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View at Picasa High five!29-Sep-2005 20:19, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa High fifteen.29-Sep-2005 20:20, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Raising the roof.29-Sep-2005 20:20, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa A little mommy, son dancing.29-Sep-2005 20:22, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Hey guys! What? What's wrong? Who's that lady in the back?29-Sep-2005 20:24, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Bracken and Richmond look into each other's eyes.29-Sep-2005 20:30, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa What's more fun than Mexican Karaoke? Uh... everything!29-Sep-2005 20:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Building the relationship one bottle at a time.29-Sep-2005 20:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Justin getting the two dollar bump.29-Sep-2005 20:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Big Red.29-Sep-2005 22:43, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I'm getting tired of these captions... someone else do this one.29-Sep-2005 22:43, SONY DSC-P200, 4.0, 15.1mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Too bad this wasn't real.29-Sep-2005 22:43, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa King Lincoln on his throne.30-Sep-2005 08:04, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Gage30-Sep-2005 09:37, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa And again.30-Sep-2005 09:38, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks, day 2, shirt 1.30-Sep-2005 09:40, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Have salmon, will travel.30-Sep-2005 09:41, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Woman on chair.30-Sep-2005 10:43, SONY DSC-P200, 3.5, 12.1mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks losing patience with the whole condo crap.30-Sep-2005 10:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Fucker!30-Sep-2005 11:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa No more condo... but at least you got that cool hat.30-Sep-2005 11:10, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Kids in the sand.30-Sep-2005 11:17, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I'm captioned out.30-Sep-2005 11:18, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa He looks like that Jerry McGwire kid.30-Sep-2005 11:18, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Me ignoring Max's distaste for photography.30-Sep-2005 11:19, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa No harmonicas, but we can rent a karaoke machine!30-Sep-2005 16:10, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Me pooping. No I didn't use the baby wipes.30-Sep-2005 19:06, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Rocky Point skyline.30-Sep-2005 19:11, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 2 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Braken puffin on Mike's cigar.30-Sep-2005 19:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Luke waiting for the ole bottle trick.30-Sep-2005 19:14, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa It's Shane.30-Sep-2005 19:15, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Beads n' shells.01-Oct-2005 11:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Ceramic Jesus is watching.01-Oct-2005 11:37, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Finally a store that sells Rap Music.01-Oct-2005 11:38, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Poster 101-Oct-2005 11:39, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Poster 201-Oct-2005 11:39, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Poster 3... ok I'm done.01-Oct-2005 11:39, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Mrs. Johnson getting her Thrifty fix.01-Oct-2005 11:40, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Nice new sunglasses!01-Oct-2005 11:40, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Ice cream makes everyone happy.01-Oct-2005 11:42, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100

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View at Picasa Very serious licker.01-Oct-2005 11:43, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Then again...01-Oct-2005 11:43, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Bob is a lucky man.01-Oct-2005 11:48, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa This guy again.01-Oct-2005 11:51, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Plates.01-Oct-2005 11:53, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Mint chocolate chip boob.01-Oct-2005 11:56, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa More Mexican chachskies.01-Oct-2005 12:01, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Sorry, Hooks, it's a trick!01-Oct-2005 12:12, SONY DSC-P200, 8.0, 15.1mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Michelle trying on other people's head lice.01-Oct-2005 12:15, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa My sweat tiger stripes.01-Oct-2005 12:20, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Awwwww... friends.01-Oct-2005 12:22, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Super Max.01-Oct-2005 12:47, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Lincoln on the bongos.01-Oct-2005 12:49, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 1, 2, 3, 4.... 4 chins... ah ha ha ha ha!01-Oct-2005 12:51, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Max, about to make a break for it.01-Oct-2005 12:58, SONY DSC-P200, 4.5, 16.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa My big head.01-Oct-2005 13:10, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa B and M.01-Oct-2005 13:19, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Bracken resting up for a fun filled evening.01-Oct-2005 13:24, SONY DSC-P200, 5.2, 23.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Mike resting while the batteries charge on his PSP.01-Oct-2005 13:24, SONY DSC-P200, 5.2, 23.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa I followed him out just to watch him fall.01-Oct-2005 16:52, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa I win!!!01-Oct-2005 16:52, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Donny explaining why he's never wrong.01-Oct-2005 17:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Melissa in her Guacamole green shirt.01-Oct-2005 17:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Pure evil.01-Oct-2005 17:07, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa There's only one Mrs. Johnson... ok... two.01-Oct-2005 17:08, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Go Wildcats!01-Oct-2005 17:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Luke pretending he's having a good time.01-Oct-2005 17:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.017 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa More sky and water and sand.01-Oct-2005 18:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa And bush.01-Oct-2005 18:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Pretty.01-Oct-2005 18:04, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Lincoln warming up his maracas.01-Oct-2005 18:12, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Sunset01-Oct-2005 18:12, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa More sunset.01-Oct-2005 18:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Sisters.01-Oct-2005 18:20, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa See previous caption.01-Oct-2005 18:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Beach Boy and the Shrimp Shack Shooters.01-Oct-2005 18:25, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Check, check one... check.01-Oct-2005 18:25, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Nice fingering!01-Oct-2005 18:27, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Beach strumming his G-String.01-Oct-2005 19:01, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa ----01-Oct-2005 19:01, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100

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View at Picasa Rory Hooks, master of the first verse.01-Oct-2005 19:01, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Shrimp.01-Oct-2005 19:04, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa All we're missing is Frankie and Annette.01-Oct-2005 19:05, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Michelle stepping in poop.01-Oct-2005 19:05, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa It's fun being a girl!01-Oct-2005 19:06, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Melissa and Jenny.01-Oct-2005 19:06, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The alcohol is starting to take effect.01-Oct-2005 21:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 01-Oct-2005 21:22, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa I'm willing to put another 20 bucks on this one.01-Oct-2005 21:22, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Bracken pre Brack Attack01-Oct-2005 21:22, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The evening slowly heads downhill.01-Oct-2005 21:29, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa OK... I'll refrained from making any gay references... but c'mon!01-Oct-2005 21:30, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Big Red droppin' heavy.01-Oct-2005 21:43, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks trying to remember the first verse from that one song.01-Oct-2005 21:44, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Me pooping again. I broke off 4 that weekend!01-Oct-2005 21:53, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.04 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Bracken in mid rant.02-Oct-2005 00:55, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Rant complete... commence vomiting!02-Oct-2005 00:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa What a mess.02-Oct-2005 00:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Shrimp anyone?02-Oct-2005 00:57, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Holy geez... this is gross!02-Oct-2005 00:57, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Larry and Nemo marveling at the effects of the Brack Attack.02-Oct-2005 01:31, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Jenny's little feet.02-Oct-2005 01:34, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Just when you thought I couldn't take another picture of the water.02-Oct-2005 08:05, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The morning after.02-Oct-2005 08:05, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Can you identify your attacker?02-Oct-2005 08:07, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Big Red ready to go home.02-Oct-2005 08:08, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Daddy why is there shrimp all over the sand out there??02-Oct-2005 08:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa He won't stop dancing.02-Oct-2005 08:22, SONY DSC-P200, 4.0, 15.1mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Time to pack up the blue caterpillar bee thingy.02-Oct-2005 08:23, SONY DSC-P200, 4.0, 15.1mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa The Brack Attack strikes back! Sorry Bracken!02-Oct-2005 08:38, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Our pretty condos.02-Oct-2005 08:58, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Donny blending in.02-Oct-2005 09:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Shane.02-Oct-2005 09:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Captain Broccoli02-Oct-2005 09:35, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Load em up and ship em out.02-Oct-2005 09:51, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.017 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Superstar!02-Oct-2005 09:52, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Lincoln on his 5th Brack Attack.02-Oct-2005 09:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 6th02-Oct-2005 09:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The desert.02-Oct-2005 11:50, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks.02-Oct-2005 11:51, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100

« Previous

View at Picasa Hey, I'm actually not on a toilet!02-Oct-2005 11:51, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100

View at Picasa I'll use Larry instead.02-Oct-2005 11:52, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100

View at Picasa Lincoln.02-Oct-2005 11:52, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.017 sec, ISO 100

View at Picasa And finally we're at Pizza Hut.02-Oct-2005 13:18, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100

I really don’t understand why some women post pictures of their kids on their myspace profiles along with pictures of their tits hanging out or their asses sticking up in the air wearing just a thong. Take Blondebabydoll for example. She took a lot of time filling out her profile. She wrote about finding a guy who would respect her and care for her and her little girl. Then, you click on her photos, and BAM!!! Boobs, ass, panties, bras, and cooch are flying everywhere! Oh, and if you scroll down a little more, you can see a photo of her daughter. (UPDATE: Blondebabydoll has since remarried and removed the photos of her ass and vagina. I guess the photos worked!)

Does anyone else see anything not quite right here? I’d be interested in finding out if anyone thinks this is no big deal.

I look at it this way: I don’t think I would post a picture of my ding dong next to a picture of my child. I don’t have children yet so I am just speculating, but I’m pretty sure I still wouldn’t do that. It just seems wrong somehow.Would it be ok if I posted a picture of my ding dong next to a picture of someone else’s child? For some reason that seems even worse.

Well, hey… whatever.

In related news, I read that a 40 yr old woman was arrested for hosting high school sex parties for her daughter and her friends. She provided the booze, the drugs and even participated in the action. She told police she just wanted to be a “cool Mom.” I have to say, if it weren’t so creepy, disgusting, and wrong, she could possibly be the coolest mom in the world!

The mom got caught because some kid that she serviced went and told his parents. He actually told police he thought she was a cool mom until he found out she was a pedophile! I wonder if he found out she was a pedophile before or after she banged him? Either way, I’m sure that kid is getting beat up for ruining it for the rest of kids.

Believe it or not, I actually participated in sex parties when I was in High School. Unfortunately, these parties were held in my bathroom, and I was only guest that would show up. I went to a lot of parties.

ANYWAY… I’m hitting the garage sale circuit this weekend. Gonna go look at a few couches. The Fabulous Amy D. told me about craigslist.org to find pretty much ANYTHING you can imagine for sale. I’m sure you all knew about it already, so no need to be as excited as I am. Thanks Amy! By the way… if you happen to be a gay dude, that craigslist is a pretty good way to hook up for some hot stranger ding dong in various restrooms around the Valley.

I think that’s all I have for tonight. Until the mind starts spinning again… have a good one!

I’m such a retard.

Long Version (for Short Version scroll down)

Several years back, I had a Sony digital camera that I used for work. I loved that camera. Unfortunately, it belonged to the company so when I changed jobs, I had to give the camera back. Jerks! So, I decided I would buy myself the same camera but I ended up doing so much research on cameras, I researched myself right out of buying the one that I wanted, and got a Canon instead. Well, the Canon wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great, and although I kept it for a few years, I never really liked it.

This past holiday season, I decided to give my Canon to someone as a gift, and planned to finally get the Sony.  Then, like an idiot, I did the exact same thing and ended up with an Epson. See, what had happened was my mom had an older Epson that took great pictures, so I figured  surely their newer cameras must be really good. Well they aren’t. In fact, the camera I bought sucked so much, it went from $299 to $79 after the holidays.

So, feeling completely ripped off,  I sold the Epson to this girl at work for $150 (she’ll never know) and then went straight to eBay and ordered the Sony I originally wanted (actually it was a bit newer version than the original). Weeks went by and nothing ever came in the mail. Eventually, I went online to check the tracking number from DHL.  According to their website, it said they delivered the camera about a week earlier but no one ever signed for it. They just left it uncovered, at my front door, in my shitty ass neighborhood.

First of all, the only vehicle access to my townhouse is at the back entrance, not the front.  Also, all mail and package deliveries are made to the back door, not the front. In fact, you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to even get to the front door.  You have to actually park in the back then walk around the block about a 1/4 mile to deliver something to the front door. UPS, FedEx, and the US Postal Service all seem to understand this, but DHL and the frigging Pizza Hut guy have some sort of common sense deficiency. Anyway, it was clear that one of my scum bag neighbors stole my camera, and I’ve been cameraless ever since.

(Begin Short Version)

For 7 months now, I’ve had my eye on the newest 7MP Sony camera. It retails for $399 but the price has been slowly dropping… VERY VERY slowly. Too slowly if you ask me. Right now, the cheapest price on the Internet is $329 including shipping.

Late last night (early this morning), while browsing eBay I came across this guy who was auctioning off two Dell Discount Promotion Codes for  Sony cameras. There were no restrictions on the discounts so you could combine the two codes to get a giant discount on one camera! I figured, there’s no way I’m going to pay some jackass for coupon codes when I can try to find them myself on the Internet. And what’d ya know? I found them!

So, with my coupon codes locked and loaded, I logged onto Dell’s website and ordered my elusive Sony camera for $284!!! Are you kidding me?!? I was filled with pure glee and excitement and other synonyms. A few minutes later, I received an email confirming my order for two cameras for $663. Wait… what the fuck?!?! In my excitement, I must have double clicked the “Add to Cart” button and ordered 2 cameras by mistake!

I tried to cancel one of the cameras but I couldn’t because they split the promotion codes over the two cameras. One code per camera. If I canceled one I would also be canceling one of the discount codes.  So I decided  just to cancel both cameras and REORDER another camera using both codes. I’m so smart.

This created a whole new problem. My bank was now under the impression that I just tried to order $900 worth of cameras from Dell in the past 30 minutes, and they put a block on my account.  Not only did they decline the order for the third camera but I couldn’t even cancel the order for the first two cameras. Now I have to wait for normal business hours in order to call Dell and my bank to fix this mess.

Here’s the kicker… I think one of the promo codes expires this weekend. So, if I run into any problems convincing my bank to lift the block, I could be screwed. Grrrrrrrrr! I’m sure it’s not the end of the world, but what a fucking pain in the ass! I guess that’s what I get for being such a tightwad. But $284… c’mon, you have to admit that’s a great deal!