Ha ha ha! Comedy Eric Schneider, Comedian

Just when I started to think I was insignificant, I go away for a few days, and everyone wants to know what happened to me.

No need to worry. I’m alive and well. In fact, I went to Rocky Point on Thursday and got back late in the afternoon yesterday.

What started out as a long anticipated getaway filled with fun and relaxation turned out to be an aggravating series of inconveniences and drama between friends. Here’s the short version:

This year’s Mexico group consisted of about 40 people.  We rented 6 condos on the beach overlooking the ocean. My condo had 6 people in it: me, Rory, Mike, Bracken, Andy, and Andy’s wife (I forgot her name). Out of all the condos, ours ends up being the one that had a horrendous sewage problem.  The entire place smelled like human feces. It was so bad, the very first night, Andy and his wife made the decision to go home first thing in the morning.

My friend Larry, and the rest of the gang convinced them to stay, and Andy agreed to try to stick it out. When morning came, however, Andy had a change of heart and decided to leave anyway.  In order to get his portion of the deposit back, Andy checked all of us out of the condo without discussing it with the rest of the group; leaving me, Rory, Bracken, and Mike stranded with no place to stay.

Between the 4 of us, we didn’t have enough money to get another condo, so Larry offered to let us stay in his. I felt a bit uncomfortable because there were already 3 married couples and two children staying there.  Larry’s wife, however, got pissed off because Larry didn’t clear it with her before he made the offer.  She wanted us to pay an equal portion of the condo fee, but I would have rather gone home than pay to sleep on a couch and use my pajama bottoms as a towel.

That night, the air conditioning went out on the first floor, and guess who was the only person sleeping on the first floor? You got it!  So I slept in a disgusting puddle of sweat and couch juice, and ended up breaking out in giant zits all over my back and scalp. For the rest of the trip, the AC stayed broken, and the weather was so hot and humid, I went through 4 shirts in one night.

Other Mexico highlights:

One entire condo of people from our group got arrested (for what I still don’t know) and they ended up fleeing the country.

Bracken mixed up a batch of his self-titled “Brack Attack” alcoholic beverage, and poisoned his liver with multiple doses, transforming him into a fountain of shrimp flavored vomit (see images below). In between heaves, he begged us all not to let him die, and proclaimed his love for his wife and daughter, and of course, Carlita the Mexican stripper he met that night.

Beach Boy and the Shrimp Shack Shooters strapped on the guitar, keyboard, harmonica, bongos, and maracas, and really put on a great show Saturday night. By far, the best part of the weekend.

Justin Lavender added another notch to his bedpost, managing to close the deal in less than two minutes. A new land speed record.

Somehow, Hooks was able to avoid any near death experiences this time. However, for the second year in a row, he broke a chair and fell on his ass. Oh, and he lost focus while pissing and peed all over his robe. Who the F wears a robe anyway???

I guess that’s it. I think I’m ready for a vacation now.

Click on the thumbnails below to see photos of the trip.
WARNING!!! Photo 150 is of human poo (not mine).

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View at Picasa I come in paz.29-Sep-2005 13:32, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks don't take no mess.29-Sep-2005 13:41, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hey... she didn't pay for that water!29-Sep-2005 13:42, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Auditioning for a UNICEF commercial.29-Sep-2005 13:43, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Hey... that looks familiar!29-Sep-2005 13:46, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Would you guys set a date already!29-Sep-2005 13:46, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I'll add this to my Mrs. Johnson collection.29-Sep-2005 14:08, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hi Marcy!29-Sep-2005 14:08, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Note to self. Max hates the camera.29-Sep-2005 14:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Does it get any better?29-Sep-2005 14:09, SONY DSC-P200, 7.1, 13.7mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Brian drinking the Devil's nectar.29-Sep-2005 15:07, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.033 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Smiling at the Sun Set Cantina.29-Sep-2005 15:59, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Scenery.29-Sep-2005 18:20, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I love this picture.29-Sep-2005 18:20, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Blurry Max.29-Sep-2005 18:21, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Clear Max.29-Sep-2005 18:21, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Why is everyone laughing at me?29-Sep-2005 18:22, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Nice cock!29-Sep-2005 18:33, SONY DSC-P200, 3.5, 13.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa Presenting the comedy stylings of The Crazy Guy at the Pool:29-Sep-2005 18:45, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Why did the siamese twins go to England?29-Sep-2005 18:45, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa The other one wanted to learn to drive!29-Sep-2005 18:45, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Thank you very much! You're a great crowd.29-Sep-2005 18:46, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Lorry looking buff thanks to the light bending properties of water.29-Sep-2005 18:54, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Larry being bouyant.29-Sep-2005 18:54, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Hey... is that Poseidon?29-Sep-2005 18:55, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I don't know her well enough to make comments.29-Sep-2005 18:55, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Whatever happens in Mexico... ends up on the website.29-Sep-2005 19:07, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa How can one black man scare a whole city of people living in poverty?29-Sep-2005 19:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.125 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa The only ones taking advantage of the dance time.29-Sep-2005 19:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa ?Can you believe these colors??29-Sep-2005 19:58, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Andy is in the back contemplating his escape.29-Sep-2005 19:59, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The most pathetic dog ever.29-Sep-2005 19:59, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Doing the running boy.29-Sep-2005 20:02, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Is it really safe to jump from here?29-Sep-2005 20:02, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Holy crap!29-Sep-2005 20:02, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Mrs. Johnson and her quesadilla.29-Sep-2005 20:04, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Lincoln still dancing.29-Sep-2005 20:05, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Max doing the Carlton.29-Sep-2005 20:06, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Um... Lincoln again.29-Sep-2005 20:06, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa Pop and lock baby!29-Sep-2005 20:10, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100

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View at Picasa High five!29-Sep-2005 20:19, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa High fifteen.29-Sep-2005 20:20, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Raising the roof.29-Sep-2005 20:20, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa A little mommy, son dancing.29-Sep-2005 20:22, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Hey guys! What? What's wrong? Who's that lady in the back?29-Sep-2005 20:24, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Bracken and Richmond look into each other's eyes.29-Sep-2005 20:30, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa What's more fun than Mexican Karaoke? Uh... everything!29-Sep-2005 20:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Building the relationship one bottle at a time.29-Sep-2005 20:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Justin getting the two dollar bump.29-Sep-2005 20:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Big Red.29-Sep-2005 22:43, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I'm getting tired of these captions... someone else do this one.29-Sep-2005 22:43, SONY DSC-P200, 4.0, 15.1mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Too bad this wasn't real.29-Sep-2005 22:43, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa King Lincoln on his throne.30-Sep-2005 08:04, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Gage30-Sep-2005 09:37, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa And again.30-Sep-2005 09:38, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks, day 2, shirt 1.30-Sep-2005 09:40, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Have salmon, will travel.30-Sep-2005 09:41, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Woman on chair.30-Sep-2005 10:43, SONY DSC-P200, 3.5, 12.1mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks losing patience with the whole condo crap.30-Sep-2005 10:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Fucker!30-Sep-2005 11:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa No more condo... but at least you got that cool hat.30-Sep-2005 11:10, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Kids in the sand.30-Sep-2005 11:17, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa I'm captioned out.30-Sep-2005 11:18, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa He looks like that Jerry McGwire kid.30-Sep-2005 11:18, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Me ignoring Max's distaste for photography.30-Sep-2005 11:19, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa No harmonicas, but we can rent a karaoke machine!30-Sep-2005 16:10, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Me pooping. No I didn't use the baby wipes.30-Sep-2005 19:06, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Rocky Point skyline.30-Sep-2005 19:11, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 2 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Braken puffin on Mike's cigar.30-Sep-2005 19:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Luke waiting for the ole bottle trick.30-Sep-2005 19:14, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa It's Shane.30-Sep-2005 19:15, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Beads n' shells.01-Oct-2005 11:33, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Ceramic Jesus is watching.01-Oct-2005 11:37, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Finally a store that sells Rap Music.01-Oct-2005 11:38, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Poster 101-Oct-2005 11:39, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Poster 201-Oct-2005 11:39, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Poster 3... ok I'm done.01-Oct-2005 11:39, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Mrs. Johnson getting her Thrifty fix.01-Oct-2005 11:40, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Nice new sunglasses!01-Oct-2005 11:40, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Ice cream makes everyone happy.01-Oct-2005 11:42, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100

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View at Picasa Very serious licker.01-Oct-2005 11:43, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Then again...01-Oct-2005 11:43, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Bob is a lucky man.01-Oct-2005 11:48, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa This guy again.01-Oct-2005 11:51, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Plates.01-Oct-2005 11:53, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Mint chocolate chip boob.01-Oct-2005 11:56, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa More Mexican chachskies.01-Oct-2005 12:01, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Sorry, Hooks, it's a trick!01-Oct-2005 12:12, SONY DSC-P200, 8.0, 15.1mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Michelle trying on other people's head lice.01-Oct-2005 12:15, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa My sweat tiger stripes.01-Oct-2005 12:20, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Awwwww... friends.01-Oct-2005 12:22, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.004 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Super Max.01-Oct-2005 12:47, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Lincoln on the bongos.01-Oct-2005 12:49, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 1, 2, 3, 4.... 4 chins... ah ha ha ha ha!01-Oct-2005 12:51, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Max, about to make a break for it.01-Oct-2005 12:58, SONY DSC-P200, 4.5, 16.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa My big head.01-Oct-2005 13:10, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa B and M.01-Oct-2005 13:19, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Bracken resting up for a fun filled evening.01-Oct-2005 13:24, SONY DSC-P200, 5.2, 23.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Mike resting while the batteries charge on his PSP.01-Oct-2005 13:24, SONY DSC-P200, 5.2, 23.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa I followed him out just to watch him fall.01-Oct-2005 16:52, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa I win!!!01-Oct-2005 16:52, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Donny explaining why he's never wrong.01-Oct-2005 17:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Melissa in her Guacamole green shirt.01-Oct-2005 17:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Pure evil.01-Oct-2005 17:07, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa There's only one Mrs. Johnson... ok... two.01-Oct-2005 17:08, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Go Wildcats!01-Oct-2005 17:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Luke pretending he's having a good time.01-Oct-2005 17:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.017 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa More sky and water and sand.01-Oct-2005 18:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa And bush.01-Oct-2005 18:03, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Pretty.01-Oct-2005 18:04, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Lincoln warming up his maracas.01-Oct-2005 18:12, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Sunset01-Oct-2005 18:12, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa More sunset.01-Oct-2005 18:13, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Sisters.01-Oct-2005 18:20, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa See previous caption.01-Oct-2005 18:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Beach Boy and the Shrimp Shack Shooters.01-Oct-2005 18:25, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Check, check one... check.01-Oct-2005 18:25, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Nice fingering!01-Oct-2005 18:27, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Beach strumming his G-String.01-Oct-2005 19:01, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa ----01-Oct-2005 19:01, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100

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View at Picasa Rory Hooks, master of the first verse.01-Oct-2005 19:01, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Shrimp.01-Oct-2005 19:04, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa All we're missing is Frankie and Annette.01-Oct-2005 19:05, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Michelle stepping in poop.01-Oct-2005 19:05, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa It's fun being a girl!01-Oct-2005 19:06, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 160	View at Picasa Melissa and Jenny.01-Oct-2005 19:06, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The alcohol is starting to take effect.01-Oct-2005 21:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 01-Oct-2005 21:22, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa I'm willing to put another 20 bucks on this one.01-Oct-2005 21:22, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Bracken pre Brack Attack01-Oct-2005 21:22, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The evening slowly heads downhill.01-Oct-2005 21:29, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa OK... I'll refrained from making any gay references... but c'mon!01-Oct-2005 21:30, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Big Red droppin' heavy.01-Oct-2005 21:43, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks trying to remember the first verse from that one song.01-Oct-2005 21:44, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Me pooping again. I broke off 4 that weekend!01-Oct-2005 21:53, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.04 sec, ISO 200	View at Picasa Bracken in mid rant.02-Oct-2005 00:55, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Rant complete... commence vomiting!02-Oct-2005 00:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa What a mess.02-Oct-2005 00:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Shrimp anyone?02-Oct-2005 00:57, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Holy geez... this is gross!02-Oct-2005 00:57, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Larry and Nemo marveling at the effects of the Brack Attack.02-Oct-2005 01:31, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Jenny's little feet.02-Oct-2005 01:34, SONY DSC-P200, 3.2, 10.7mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Just when you thought I couldn't take another picture of the water.02-Oct-2005 08:05, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The morning after.02-Oct-2005 08:05, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Can you identify your attacker?02-Oct-2005 08:07, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Big Red ready to go home.02-Oct-2005 08:08, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Daddy why is there shrimp all over the sand out there??02-Oct-2005 08:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa He won't stop dancing.02-Oct-2005 08:22, SONY DSC-P200, 4.0, 15.1mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 120
View at Picasa Time to pack up the blue caterpillar bee thingy.02-Oct-2005 08:23, SONY DSC-P200, 4.0, 15.1mm, 0.02 sec, ISO 120	View at Picasa The Brack Attack strikes back! Sorry Bracken!02-Oct-2005 08:38, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Our pretty condos.02-Oct-2005 08:58, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Donny blending in.02-Oct-2005 09:09, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Shane.02-Oct-2005 09:21, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Captain Broccoli02-Oct-2005 09:35, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Load em up and ship em out.02-Oct-2005 09:51, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.017 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Superstar!02-Oct-2005 09:52, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 100
View at Picasa Lincoln on his 5th Brack Attack.02-Oct-2005 09:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa 6th02-Oct-2005 09:56, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.025 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa The desert.02-Oct-2005 11:50, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100	View at Picasa Hooks.02-Oct-2005 11:51, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100

« Previous

View at Picasa Hey, I'm actually not on a toilet!02-Oct-2005 11:51, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 100

View at Picasa I'll use Larry instead.02-Oct-2005 11:52, SONY DSC-P200, 5.6, 7.9mm, 0.001 sec, ISO 100

View at Picasa Lincoln.02-Oct-2005 11:52, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.017 sec, ISO 100

View at Picasa And finally we're at Pizza Hut.02-Oct-2005 13:18, SONY DSC-P200, 2.8, 7.9mm, 0.005 sec, ISO 100

As requested, here are 50 things I love. I had to really stretch the meaning of love on some of these, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m severely lacking love in my life. No wonder I’m so grumpy all the time.

Anyway, read on, young jedi…

50 Things I love (revised 8/8/07)

1. Kennedy
2. My Dad.
3. My cat.
4. Other select members of my family (Mom, Carol, Helene, Lisa & John, Grandma, Justin, Jordan, Uncle Steve, Uncle Richie & Lisa and the kids… That’s about it.)
5. Children
6. Sushi.
7. Bagels, lox, and cream cheese prepared the way my Grandpa used to do it every Sunday for years before he died.
8. Fishing trips with my Dad and Grandpa.
9. Good people with good hearts.
10. Lucky Charms and Frosted Mini Wheats
11. Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
12. That first sip of beer after a long day at work.
13. The smell of rain on hot concrete.
14. Cold feet and cold hands.
15. Soft green grass… not this razor blade shitty kind here in AZ.
16. Food Network, TLC, HGTV, Bravo
17. Alias
18. That crazy, swirly, shortness of breath, dizzy, drunk, headachy feeling you get from a great kiss.
19. Being wrong.
20. Writing.
21. Sabret hot dogs with deli mustard and onions in the red sauce from a NY street vendor.
22. Comedy.
23. The Bentley Continental GT.
24. Technology.
25. Music.
26. Giving massages. But only to people who ask. Not like the creepy guy in the office who comes up behind you and starts rubbing your shoulders, and then leans over and makes this noise right behind your ear: Mmmmmmmm…
27. ASU Women’s Basketball
28. Intelligent conversation (which is very different from talking to a smart person.)
29. People who get me.
30. The World Trade Center
31. Baseball caps.
32. A new pair of sneakers.
33. Compressed air in a can.
34. A fresh pack of underwear.
35. Everything having to do with touching a woman.
36. Midnight Run w/ Robert DeNiro & Charles Grodin
37. The bread pudding they serve at Eddie V’s in North Scottsdale.
38. The annual group trip to Rocky Point (September 29th!!!)
39. Frost Valley YMCA
40. All the true friends I’ve had throughout the years.
41. High-speed Internet.
42. A well thought out system.
43. Old couples who are still in love.
44. After days and days of picking, finally yanking out that ingrown hair.
45. Learning.
46. Hardwood floors.
47. New car smell.
48. Pistachio Ice Cream.
49. Camping.
50. The Yankees.
51. Making people laugh. (Yeah.. I know that’s 51)

How many products have you ever bought off the TV? I’m ashamed to say I’ve purchased Tony Robbins’ Tapes, The Ab Cruncher Thingy, The Ab Electrocute Yourself Thingy, DD7, Tae-Bo, NADS, Epilstop, and a George Foreman Grill. I almost broke down and bought the Magic Bullet Blender and the Miracle Blade knife set, but I slapped myself in the face a few times and talked myself out of it. Out of all of those things, the Foreman Grill is still sitting on my counter like a true champion. I love that thing. In fact, I made some chicken on it tonight!

That reminds me, I’ve been pretty good on my diet and exercise plan . Before I waste away, I think I should post a before picture:

Ok, that’s not really me. Actually it’s a good friend of mine who almost got killed in an ATV accident in Rocky Point last year. By the way, he’s in his 40′s, extremely sweet, very spiritual, mellow, and single. If anyone knows any ladies who like a dark chunky brother with an amazing singing voice, let me know. If anyone deserves a good woman, he does.

(UPDATE: Mr Hooks, pictured above, has since found a mate and is now happily married.)

Just in case anyone was wondering, I completely made up the results of my survey. The truth is, only one person responded to it (the woman who said she would make love to a mountain lion.) Thinking back on it now, it sure seems like a lot of work just to make up all that stuff. I still think it made for some entertaining reading.

Right now, however, I’m having a little writer’s block. I thought of a bunch of things I wanted to write about today, but I completely forgot most of them. Oh well, maybe I’ll post again later.